Empty Wessels make the most noise.

Don’t we all hate them? The loudmouths, the ones that let the tongue wag, the ones that brag a little too much. I have been there too. Every time that I have done it, I have always come back and regretted it. Sometimes it is too difficult not to get carried away.

This post is a review of all those who made the noise. To see if they were worth their salt and to find out how many actually walked the talk!

All the noise that was made during the players’ auction could be limited to the Kolkata, Mohali and Bangalore sides. In the build up to the competition, King Khan continued to make a lot of noise and was matched decibel to decibel by the Deccan Chargers. SRK looks composed in defeat and has taken the beating well. I am still wondering what happened to the Special supplement that was being circulated free along with the Deccan Chronicle. I am still impressed with some great performances from that side. Dr. Mallaya has started talking about parties aboard his yacht and Mrs. Ecclestone’s birthday rather than the poor show at F1. I guess he has learnt his lessons about what not to talk.

Then of course we had Harbajan Singh who for once realized actions speak louder than words. His ouster from the tournament brought in a better captain and change in fortunes for the Mumbai Indians.

Dada made some noise about Warney, and the Australian inside Shane retorted. A great bowling performance throughout the tournament and a fine knock in the last game redeems Dada and the Kolkata Knight Riders. Sourav now truly deserves to repeat the antics of the Lord's balcony at the Eden Gardens and I promise not to say a word.

Shane “Pied Piper” Warne is a royalty in Rajasthan. He is the man with the Midas touch. Every team that plays against him turns to dust. His boys are all worth their weight in gold. Keeping with the tradition, let me, let him do whatever talking he has got to do. No comments on one Mr. John Marshall Buchanan from Queensland. I just have a kind request for him to shut up at the earliest.

Rahul Dravid is probably the story (that never was) of the IPL. When there was too much pressure on him from the fans, media and the beer baron; he did what he can do best. He let his bat do the talking. His persistent faith in his team helped them in the good outings against Hyderabad and Chennai. Rahul had once said that he had trained hard to adapt to One-Day cricket. I have tremendous respect for this no nonsense cricketer. He gave more than his best at an alien format. All his efforts can be summed up by the words of Edgar J. Hoover. “We the willing, led by the unknowing, have been doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have been doing so much, for so long, with so little that now we are qualified to do anything with nothing.”

After watching half a dozen games from the dugout and playing nearly as many, Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar saying that he has not figured out this format does not add up. Thank god that he did not repeat, “It’s good for the team to win”, “The team’s victory means more to me than my Century’, “I played well, but it would have been nice had we won”. We have heard that so many times in the past and luckily he has not got too many runs to render his rhetoric.

I am waiting to see how the Mumbai crowd will boo Yuvaraj Singh when his team plays in the semis or even possibly in the finals. One in his right mind does not mess with the Mumbaikars. They have even booed the God himself. I am happy that the purple boy did not mess with the Kolkata crowd. Support from the stands is very important for any team to win. Ask the Jaipur boys, they know about it best. Mr. Ness Wadia should be a little careful about insulting police officers. The positive from Mohali is that a Ms. Preity Zinta has just kept to jumping, gyrating and dancing to the Bollywood tunes. She has not opened her mouth much and has kept herself out of trouble. Alison Krauss probably was talking about her when she sang the following lines “you say it best, when you say nothing at all.”

That leaves just one team- The team from my city. Sunil Gavaskar had a field day with a double dose of Srikanths. A deadly Dad-Son Combination like that in any team is a dangerous case of chronic verbal diarrhea. Mahi has not been saying the wrong things and has owned up some errors. I shall spare him but the one I cannot spare is the coach, Mr. Kepler Christoffel Wessels.

It’s great to use the feet movement and reflex skills from boxing to coach batsmen and wicketkeepers. If I am ever in boxing shorts the last ugliest face I would want to see would be that of Wessels. It is highly irresponsible to make negative statements ahead of a crucial match. I was a very poor cricketer myself, but if the best in me was brought out, it was because of the faith the captains and coaches had in me. I do not remember anyone ever telling me that they had to make adjustments because I was there or no one ever told me how it would have been better to have someone else on the team. I am sure they would have felt these things but one does not tell this to a member of a team game. Comments like “I was the last one hired”, “I was given this team”, “It would be a bonus if we make it to the last four”, “I am not too keen to come back next year”; are suicidal.

Kepler Wessels was a man, who was taken apart by Toni Grieg; this was someone who had a negative temperament about one day cricket, this was a cricketer who became disillusioned about Australian cricket and hung up his boots (or should I say gloves). When the team expects a knock out punch he just ends up knocking the air and confidence out of his young side. If you are not interested then please bugger off. We can use Srikanth as a coach and use the motivation from Shivamani to win matches. We just no longer need that ugly face hanging around the dressing room.

As an afterthought, please read Henry V by Shakespeare where he quotes Plato. “As empty vessels make the loudest sound, so they that have the least wit are the greatest blabbers”.