Outlaws and In-Laws!

I went for an engagement this evening, it sure was fun but there are lots of observations I made......Indian weddings are unique and have a lot customs and traditions involved. There is this huge crowd (All kinds of relatives, friends, colleagues and a lot of well wishers), huge quantities of great food, loud music, grand flower arrangements and of course the प्रोहिथ.

Usually these weddings last for up to anything between a few days and a week। There were times when this used be for an entire week.The world has become a faster place these days and more often than not the grooms fly down from America for a few days or maybe a week to get married and fly back again (That is exactly how it happened with my pal Shaarwari; her superman came flying to India and carried his princess away). I still remember my uncles wedding when I was about three years old. Not sure if he was enjoying the whole thing but I was having fun. The folks made me wear a panjam and a neat looking kurta complete with a turban. It definitely was a week long affair. I had a ball of a time in all of my cousins' weddings. One of the actually got married about three times (Big B might read this blog one day...The Sikh wedding, Telegu wedding and the one at the register office). Interfaith weddings have become much more common these days. Lots of friends started getting married while I was in college and then later at work there were even more.......Of late all my friends from school and college are getting married in a great hurry. A few months ago it was my main hobby to attend these weddings and wish the couple a long married life.I was always wondering why there is so much of noise and lots of people going crazy about an Indian wedding. Lots of dowry is almost always involved. Is this a good thing to carry on in this generation or is it still causing a lot of trouble with the bride's folks? Thinking about this for a long time I guess that even though this practice causes a great pinch in the In Laws pockets, it is something that should not be demanded or forced. This is a marriage and not an exchange of goods at the market. This practice has its advantages too. Probably it is one of the reasons why an Indian wedding lasts longer and is much more stable. One tries to make a compromise and live in peace rather than spend a lot more and call all the folks and get married all over again. (Western world are you reading this?)

Since the daughters never had a share in their dad's legacy; I think this custom of giving a huge dowry compensated it somewhere. Now the daughters demand a share of the property too. So it is not fair for the young men to demand a dowry. If we had left a system as it was originally things will not looks so messed up. Either take a dowry at the time of your wedding or share the paternal wealth with your siblings. I am also surprised that if a potential groom refuses a dowry in Andhra then there are some rumors circulating that the boy has some kind of a defect. The only one I can see is a good heart and more rational thinking.......So my general observation is that do not force someone to take or give a dowry, do not demand anything. Get a lot of folks invited to the wedding and there is a high probability that the marriage will be with a happy ending similar to the ones in a fairy tale.And they happily lived ever after.........Since in India a wedding is not just between the two, one gets married into a family. It is just a notion that in-laws are outlaws, they will become better once they become more familiar. Sacrifice and adjustment is the key to a successful marriage.



I wish my pal Balaji the very best in his life and hope that I am around to witness his point of no return when he ties the "Thali" (मंगल सूत्र).

I wish to remain single for a few more years but I guess my parents are on the hunt again already....lets see if the hunter gets hunted.