Arranged Murders

I am brave, sometimes shamelessly brave. I am not even afraid of my conscience and very few things scare me. With that preamble, one should imagine that the world I inhabit would actually be heaven.

They say, “Marriages are made in Heaven”. They also say that “Marriage is an Institution” while “Love is blind!” Now, this makes me wonder if “Marriage is an institution for the blind.”

I do not think marriages are made in Heaven. I have always believed that all marriages are arranged marriages. The question really is who is arranging it? In the land of arranged marriages, especially if it’s the parent’s generation that is trying to arrange the marriage, the young man at the marriageable age is rather in an interesting situation. It is a rather funny choice knowing well that neither of the options is ideal and that there is no other option. One either gets married or stays a bachelor. This is when the juggling of the Pros and Cons start happening. It will be great to have new home, start your family, bliss, something to come back to, something to complete the otherwise meaningless life, a purpose. But, on the other hand there is no more of the late night hangouts, indulgent binges, careful financial planning, saving, compromises, sacrifices, loss of space, reckless split second decisions. As that young man in the picture, I am not afraid of all these. Somehow the sense of Déjà vu sweeps me completely. What I am afraid of is the numerous atrocities that happen to women in the name of Marriage.

It is well known that a marriage changes the life completely. It changes the women’s life much more than it does to the man. Somehow or the other she is made to sacrifice much more, in terms of education, career, hobbies, interests, friends, family, preferences and passion. Starting from there to ill-treatment at the hands of in-laws, abuse, and husband addicted to alcohol, wife beating, physical and psychological torture, dowry deaths, gas stove explosions, forced abortions, female infanticide and even sati. These horrors scare me and I am even more afraid when the girl’s own family fails to stand up for her. Are their responsibilities over the moment she is married off and sent to the groom’s house? I am even more afraid when brothers, mothers, fathers, sisters, uncles and aunts stand a dumb witness to all these horrors. Keeping quiet about a crime is worse than perpetrating the crime. These, ultimate at times stupid acts of sacrifice by the women around me gives me the chills.

Marriages don’t scare me, I am not afraid of arranged marriages. I am afraid, very afraid of ARRANGED MURDERS!